Wednesday, November 12, 2014

Birthday boy

Happy happy birthday Danger dear.
Happy days will come to you all year.
If I had a wish then it would be,
A happy happy birthday to you from me.

It started with a balloon avalanche. 
He enjoyed it. 
He decided he wanted a Lego birthday party. I made a Lego cake for him. 
Lego Party complete with giant sausages and croissants. 
I got some birthday kisses from him on his birthday!
Party number 2 with grandparents. More cake and more fun!
Danger getting silly with a gift from grandpa. 
Even this cutie enjoyed the day, even tho he didn't get any cake. 
Daddy playing trains with the boys. Colonel just attacked the trains. Danger had fun keeping him away. :)

I can't believe my little man is 3. The little human that made me a mom, is 3! It has been so crazy to think about. Especially when sometimes it still shocks me and catches me off guard : I'M A MOM! And now I have a 3 year old. He is so big and strong and so into and aware of everything. 

I love my sweet little boy. I am so grateful for him. So grateful to be his mom. 

Thursday, November 6, 2014

Toddlers are liars

We'll ask Danger a question, to which he will quickly respond "No" then, once he's thought about the question, he'll give his real answer.

Like when I ask him if he has to go potty. 
NO!
then 10 seconds later :
YES!
Do you need help?
NO?
Wait mom! I'm stuck! HELP!
Show me your muscles, please?
NO! 
Here's my muscles, and my bad guy face. 

Are you hungry?
NO!
Can I have spaghetti-os? 

Do you want to go with me?
NO!
Wait mom, wait for me! 
I have learned not to trust this little lair pants. 

On most things. 

But there are moments when I do trust him, and it's worth it. 

I love him. But I can't wait to see his tell, and read his poker face. 

Sunday, November 2, 2014

Best laid plans

You know when you make plans, and they seem totally logical. Yeah, this is totally gonna work, there's no way it can't because it JUST MAKES SENSE?!

(Often times he's so swsweet and cute. Like this, I always take my shoes off by the door, and Danger took his shoes off by mommas.)

That's how potty training has been. It seems like he gets it. It really really does. 

And then I'll get an idea that is totally guaranteed to work. Like making him go naked so he doesn't poop his pants. (Cuz his underwear is what's making him poop and pee his pants, cuz it's tricking him into thinking it's a diaper.) Right? 

Um, nope.

Apparently, my child does whatever, whenever, wherever.  So freaking stubborn. 
Both of my children are completely stubborn and have very strong personalities. They are also very strong. Like very strong. And not bendy, not flexible in the least. 

The Colonel is even less flexible and bendy than Danger was! I know my boys are strong and are completely different than any other children I ever pick up. 

The look on people's faces when they hold my boys is priceless. It makes me smile. 
The Colonel has been a little baby motor machine. Motoring ALL around the living room. But lately, he's been like a ghost from Mario, he only moves when no one is looking. He's getting braver and moving all the time. 
He got an ear infection. This is his sad, I'm sick face. 
Danger came with, and because he's coughing and it's bad, we put a mask on him. He hated at first but then liked it. He even fell asleep with it on, in the car. 
And because this momma is so silly, when she changes baby's bum, she tosses their pants on their head. I did it to Danger, and I do it to The Colonel. Both of them giggled. The Colonel LOVES it. This time, I put his pants actually on his head rather than just on his face. 
Danger got a marker and did this to my height ruler. I tried getting it off, the paint came off first. (sigh) I'm sad about it. I will probably end up making another one. We'll see. 

Sometimes we just have to realize it's not our plans that matter. 

Wednesday, October 29, 2014

Halloween

Happy Halloween!

I love Halloween. And now that I have cute little boys, especially now that Danger is totally getting into it, it's even funner! I love dressing up, and dressing the boys up.

I love the candy, eating it, trick or treating, and even handing it out.

I love the parties, the games, the food, the themes. I love Jack o lanterns and roasted pumpkin seeds. I love the smell of leaves. 

I do NOT love haunted houses. I used to enjoy them, depending on who I went with- you know, some people make it funny.

I don't like zombies at all. Ugh. I can't....I just totally can't even go there. My brain doesn't let anything go. I see something and it's in there FOR-EVER! And I'm imaginative. So my brain takes it and explodes it into all kinds of totally unrealistic, unreasonable, irrational crap. Ugh. Just ugh.

I LOVE my boys and how excited Danger is for Halloween, it took a bit to explain it to him, but oh man. Now it's all he talks about!

We've gone to a trunk or treating at a car dealership, it was a lot of fun. They played a bunch of games, there was a bounce house. Danger loved it.  

We carved pumpkins. We did not roast the seeds this year, I have too much going on, and I didn't want to mess with it. 

Our church put on a Halloween party and chili cookoff. I made a big batch of chili and I made some of the Blob Monster cream puffs. These cream puffs are technically pretty easy. And I rather enjoy making them. Danger "helped" by watching. He loves it. 

I'll try to get a picture of my boys dressed up. Danger is a knight. The Colonel is a dragon. I'm their Princess. 

Monday, October 27, 2014

Happiness

It's what we all seek. We want to be happy. We want to not be sad or feel like crap. I believe it is our natural deposition to be happy. I know that sounds weird, especially since there is so many of us who suffer from depression and anxiety. The world is a depressing place. But I also know that we were made to have joy. (Book of Mormon, 2 Nephi 2:25 "Adam fell that men might be; and men are, that they might have joy.") 

Life isn't about suffering thru, it's about enjoying the journey. Yes, it's hard, but there is so much good. 

I love being a mom. But when I was little, it's not what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wanted to create things, big buildings, cars. I wanted to design things, I wanted to be in charge. I did that for a little while, and then became a mom. We have been so blessed that Shark's job supports us and I can choose to not work outside the home.  

Being a mom is hard. It's mostly lots of good days, with random bad moments. Bad, frustrating, overwhelming, trying... How ever you want to say it. For the most part, I'm happy. I'm a happy mom who loves playing with her happy kids. But, there are times when it's really hard for the happy to shine thru all that frustration, thru the overwhelming feeling of it all. Sometimes, that overwhelming feeling lasts for days, and it ends up spilling over into other parts of my life. 

Being happy is something, that at some point in each of our lives, we have to really focus on being. I feel like I'm at that point now. I think The Colonel might have pulled the happy out of me when he was born. 

I still struggle with the emotions from the c-section and I can't seem to find the words to even try to explain it to Shark. I end up stammering every time I try to talk about it.

I've been struggling a bit this last week with something said over the internet. Now, I like the internet. I shop, and search, and answer the questions my in-laws have. It's how I keep tabs on my football team and how I keep in touch with my family in WI. I Facebook, instagram, blog, and Pinterest. I enjoy it. 

But I hate how some people have come to think their opinion is law. I've been down in the dumps this week because some people said some things that made me feel inferior, like my opinion was wrong. And I know, I can't control what people say, just how I feel. But it's hard to let those things roll off your shoulder. 

At church on Sunday, I was searching for peace, to have my heart softened and to let it go. (Elsa makes it seem so easy to do, but this momma has no ice castle.) And as soon as I sat down in class, it hit me. Be happy. 
Be happy. 

What does that even mean?! 

The thoughts and feelings continued to flow to my mind and heart. You can only make sure you, yourself, is happy. Then worry about making others happy. "Adjust your own mask before assisting others." 

I need to focus on my own happiness, and the happiness of others will follow. I'm not meaning focus on myself in a selfish way, because when I start to list off things that make me happy, it's all being and doing things with other people. 

But I also need to surround myself with people who are going to lift me up. And I think I do. Everyone I know, lifts me to be better. But I don't need to feel like crap. I shouldn't allow myself to feel like crap, or be treated like crap. 
Sometimes I feel like I go off on some wild tangent and there's no connecting thought to these posts.

I guess what I'm trying to say is :

Be happy. Don't let others into your life who make you feel like crap. Enjoy the journey that God has put you on, and know that it ends well. Your opinion matters, but it's not fact. There's gonna be a lot of crap in our lives, just scroll past it. Find what makes you happy and share it with the world. 

Yup. No connecting thought at all. 
I posted pictures of my boys, cuz they make me so happy, most of the time. 

Find your joy. 

Sunday, October 26, 2014

Potty training sucks

I absolutely hate it.

I mostly hate it because I have no control over it. None. I can try to convince him, try and to encourage him.

We have tried everything. Candy. Temporary tattoos. Cars. Money. Stickers. Games. Food.

No dice.

It works for a little while. But nothing seems to make it stick. The one thing that has worked the longest for us is bubble gum. When he pees, he gets a bubble gum. (Which I buy in a bag from the dollar store.)

Right now, we've got a potty road. After the 1st 10 pottys in the toilet, he gets a prize. Then it's 10, then 15, then 20, and 25. He gets a prize or something special. And every 5 he gets a temporary tattoo. (He LOVES showing off his tattoos.)

I made the potty road the day after he peed on my chair and then peed on the floor, within 15 minutes. I exploded on him and he got sent to bed.

I am sooooo frustrated with all of it. I have been working so hard at not getting angry. But it's hard. My anger bubble is near the surface, as they say. My initial gut reaction is anger and frustration. I think I've been getting better, but it's so so hard.

I got a new book, The Soft Spoken Parent by H. Wallace Goddard. (I love every single book of his.) On the first page it says :

" In fact, those of us who are most vulnerable to anger may be those who have stronger emotions of all kinds. We love more passionately, we live more joyously. That is a blessing. But it must needs be that there is an opposite in all things. Along with the gift of fire (enthusiasm, passion, gusto, zeal), we have the challenge of channeling, managing, and training our fire. "

That's the first page! Needless to say, I am super excited about this book.

We have also been listening to hymns during the day. It has been such a wonderful spirit in the house lately. It has helped me to laugh it off rather than yell.

No matter how we approach it, potty training still sucks. It's not fun. But we're trying to make it fun. We have working on it for so long, I'm just tired of the whole thing. He is so close, so I know I can't.

It's hard. I get frustrated. I'm kind of an angry person. I desperately do NOT want my boys to be angry people. I have a quote on my mirror : The boys are watching everything you do. Be who you want them to see.

I'm working on it. And he's working on it.

We'll let you know how it goes.

Saturday, October 25, 2014

We don't take naps

We recharge our little happy batteries.

So Danger hasn't taken naps in a while. Every now and then he'll take one. Well, he'll be turning 3 in 2 weeks, so he has been an absolute terror. I think he's thrown more tantrums and fits in the past month than he has his entire life.

Around 3, he usually has a meltdown down major fit. There is no reasoning with him. Yesterday I used "Everything is awesome" as a lullaby to calm him down.

Here's the convo, once the singing was done:

I don't think you're very happy right now.
- No I'm not.
I think you need to take a break and recharge your happy batteries.
- My happy batteries?
Yeah, they are what keep you happy. And I think yours are empty. You need to fill them back up.
- How do I fill them back up?
Well, you lay down and close you eyes. Resting recharges everyone's batteries.
- Resting? Like taking a nap?
Yes, exactly. So do you want to take a short nap to recharge your happy batteries?
- Yes please mom.

So he laid down and look a nap. When he woke up he said, "All charged and happy, mom!"

I think he gets it. Just sometimes I need to take a deep breath and talk it out to him. I'm not really sure if he understood, but he seemed to. And he was pretty happy when he woke up.

We had to do the same thing again today.

He's recharging his happy batteries right now. I said he needed a little nap to recharge them, he said, "No mom, a big nap, please" so we'll see when he wakes up/I wake him up.

Here's to having BOTH boys recharge their batteries at the same time. :)