It's been a while

Yeah, so it's been a while....I'm sorry that it's almost March and this is my first post. Well, I had one written, and drafted it but never published. It's a little too personal, which is odd cuz this is my personal blog... But I'm not ready to share it yet. Maybe, down the road, maybe. 

But there has been things going on. My boys are growing up. They are getting so big. So strong. So tough. They are amazing. But they are growing up too fast! 

The Colonel is 1 day shy of 11 months. He's crawling everywhere. He stands up on everything. He babbles and talks and is learning to make all kinds of sounds. 

His little personality is shining thru and we're learning very fast that it's not a little personality at all! 

I love watching my boys together. The littles play so good together. They laugh and giggle. If one giggles, the other will burst into fits of laughter. And what's even funnier, is it's obviously fake laughter. And then it turns into real sincere laughing. I love it. 

Danger is a little doer. He's always fixing things and repairing things and throwing things. He's always running and jumping. Always digging, always driving trucks. And he's started really digging into his imagination. It's wonderful to watch. 

He's been having some emotional days lately. He will just burst into tears randomly while Shark is at work or school. Like, inconsolable. And the only words I have gotten from him in these moments is : dad, school, work, gone, help. He sobs, breaks down, tears stream down his face. All I can do is hold him. Stroke his hair, rub his back, and tell him that his dad is working/schooling and will be home soon. 

I desperately am trying to help him to understand that his dad will always come home and play with him. That neither mom or dad, will ever leave him. We will always be there, always. 

I've also been trying to destress our lives. Destress the boys' lives, not rush them, not put too much of a schedule on them. Which also helps me not to stress. It just takes a load of my shoulders to not HAVE to rush around all day. 

I've been trying to take more pictures and to take more HAPPY pictures with my boys. Which also turns into being HAPPIER with my boys. It's wonderful. 

Now, the past 2 months haven't gone by without hiccups or events. 

We got Danger signed up for preschool in the fall, and we're so excited. 

My sister Megatron stayed with us for a bit, and we have taken trips to see her down south. It's been very very fun, and wonderful to have my family close. 

February started off great, and Shark and I made Valentine's plans, but had to abruptly cancel them because my heart went into flutter again. No idea why, but it happened. 

They didn't cardiovert me out of it this time. They used my pacemaker to pace me out of it. They sent a burst of beats to my heart which, more or less, "spooked" my heart so that it started beating at a normal rhythm again. 

We were literally saved by my sister, Megatron, because she drove me to the hospital while Shark was at work, and watched the boys while we were at the hospital. She was amazing!

But after that all happened, the boys got sick. With 2 different illnesses. Danger has a cold. Colonel has some type of flu. But now, Danger's cough is just a lingering cough and Colonel has gotten over his weird flu and is back to normal, aside from the weight he's lost. 

Here's a hospital pick. This is the 1st ER visit. There were 2. One Friday night/Saturday morning, and one Saturday evening. Megatron and I were making bracelets when my heart rate jumped to 220... 

The boys like riding in the basket. Colonel loves it cuz he can stand up and see everything. He thinks it's awesome. Only problem is : I can't buy as much stuff as I normally do. Wait, is that a problem? 

Cheese!

Chilling with dad. 

Sicko snuggles. 

Emotional day cuddles, and momma's new haircut! 

I love these boys. I'm working on being a more patient mom and showing more love towards my kids. I'm trying to improve myself and my thinking. I'm trying to strengthen my relationship with my Savior by learning as much as I can about Him, and doing that also means in learning how He sees me. I am a Daughter of God and no one can take that away from me, nothing, anybody says or does will ever change how much He loves me. And that includes what I say or do. 

Knowing this and thinking this every day has been amazing and uplifting. 

What. The. Heck.

So I had this baby last week.... JK. It's been 8 months. But I swear last week he was nearly scooting around the living room. 

And now he's climbing all over EVERYTHING. 

He's chasing his brother around and snatching up toys. 

There is no place in the living room that he hasn't discovered. No toy he hasn't licked. 

And he usually is smiling and laughing. 

His favorite place to crawl into is the shelf on the coffee table. He loves crawling in one side and out the other. There's no stopping him. 

He's discovered that he can tip over the baskets to get the toys inside. 

He's learned that everything is a toy and he loves playing. 

Now that he has discovered the stairs, there's no keeping him off them. 

When he's in the car seat he makes the funniest noises and faces. 

He appreciates any help he can get. 

And he's always looking to see who's chasing him, cuz someone usually is. And it's usually me. 

This boy sure is giving me a run for my money.  Now I chase 2 tornado boys around. We've taken drastic measures, we've got the gates up so everyone is locked in the living room. 

I sure do love my boys. But they are growing up so fast. Slow down. Please. 

Best laid plans

You know when you make plans, and they seem totally logical. Yeah, this is totally gonna work, there's no way it can't because it JUST MAKES SENSE?!

(Often times he's so swsweet and cute. Like this, I always take my shoes off by the door, and Danger took his shoes off by mommas.)

That's how potty training has been. It seems like he gets it. It really really does. 

And then I'll get an idea that is totally guaranteed to work. Like making him go naked so he doesn't poop his pants. (Cuz his underwear is what's making him poop and pee his pants, cuz it's tricking him into thinking it's a diaper.) Right? 

Um, nope.

Apparently, my child does whatever, whenever, wherever.  So freaking stubborn. 

Both of my children are completely stubborn and have very strong personalities. They are also very strong. Like very strong. And not bendy, not flexible in the least. 

The Colonel is even less flexible and bendy than Danger was! I know my boys are strong and are completely different than any other children I ever pick up. 

The look on people's faces when they hold my boys is priceless. It makes me smile. 

The Colonel has been a little baby motor machine. Motoring ALL around the living room. But lately, he's been like a ghost from Mario, he only moves when no one is looking. He's getting braver and moving all the time. 

He got an ear infection. This is his sad, I'm sick face. 

Danger came with, and because he's coughing and it's bad, we put a mask on him. He hated at first but then liked it. He even fell asleep with it on, in the car. 

And because this momma is so silly, when she changes baby's bum, she tosses their pants on their head. I did it to Danger, and I do it to The Colonel. Both of them giggled. The Colonel LOVES it. This time, I put his pants actually on his head rather than just on his face. 

Danger got a marker and did this to my height ruler. I tried getting it off, the paint came off first. (sigh) I'm sad about it. I will probably end up making another one. We'll see. 

Sometimes we just have to realize it's not our plans that matter. 

Hey

I had a baby!

Yeah. I totally did. 

I had THIS baby :

This out littlest man : Karson. His initials are KFC, so his nickname is The Colonel. (This is going to be the only time I'll use his name, just like the rest of us.)

He has been such a miracle to have in our little family. We love him so much.

Would you like to have story time? Alright. 

Tuesday evening (the 25th) I was having contractions. I had had contractions all day, had even timed them, some were 8 minutes apart some were 5. I had woken up the night before because the contractions were so painful. With Danger, I was induced, I had no idea what labor pains really felt like. I didn't know if what I was feeling was normal or not. So, at the request of my mother, I went into the doctor to see if everything was ok. I wasn't worried or anything, I figured : if I'm in labor, than I'll be glad I came in, if I'm not, than they will tell when to come back. 

Well, I went in around 7, I was at a 4. They kept me for an hour, moms progress at about a centimeter an hour. The nurse came back about an hour later and I had progressed but they wanted to keep me another hour just to be sure. Around 9, she came back and said she had talked to the OB on call and she had decided to keep me and have the baby that night. So I called Shark, told him to take Danger to grandma's and come over to the hospital. 

*Now, I do need to put a note in here about Danger. The week before this, Danger had a blazing fever, and had thrown up a few times, not consecutive, and he did keep liquids down and some food, it was kind of random when he'd throw up. So, little man was NOT feeling good at all. His fever did break about 30 minutes before I called Shark to come to the hospital, so we were relived to take him to grandma's and weren't worried. 

Shark got to the hospital around 10, my contractions were still going strong. I waited for Shark to get there to get my epidural, I'm glad I did cuz it was a rough one. I needed to hold his hand during it. The contractions weren't too bad at this point, but my OB suggested I get the epidural early, rather than later. Once that started kicking in, the OB started to make a plan. She had tried to figure out how to keep an eye in my pacemaker. (It ended up not even being an issue about my heart.)

Around 11, I had progressed to a 7, and the OB broke my water. The OB explained her plan to us : she wanted this labor to be not very laborious, she wanted the least amount of stress possible, she didn't want me to push hardly at all, just wanted baby to come with contractions. It sounded like a wonderful plan. 

Once my water was broken, the contractions started coming sooner and sooner. Around 12, it was noticed, after a while, that when I contracted, baby's heart rate dropped. And it dropped considerably, almost to a scary rate. My contractions were coming so close together that baby didn't have time to recover. The nurses had started to change my positions, trying to get baby's heart rate to respond. The OB started going over plan B. They handed Shark a gown, mask, cap and booties. They would continue to move me around, but we would be going into an OR, just in case I needed the c-section. 

At this point, it was around 12:25, and they wheeled me into the OR and just prepped for the c-section. I have had plenty of incision surgeries, I've got my share of scars, my share of stitches, but I have never been awake for any of them. I NEVER ever want to be awake for another surgery, EVER ever again. I would not wish that on anyone, not even if I had a worst enemy. It wasn't really painful, but it sure as heck was not pleasant. I don't really know how to explain it, pressure I guess. Lots of pressure, lots of uncomfortable pressure. LOTS. 

Our little Colonel was brought into the world at 12:33am, he weighed 5lbs 10oz and was 19 inches long. 

He is amazing and healthy and beautiful. We could not be more happy and feel more blessed. We are so in love with our little Colonel. Danger is so in love with his baby brother. He runs to help him when he cries, he brings me binkies and blankets and burp cloths and diapers. 

Because of the c-section, we were in the hospital for about 4 days. And because Danger had a fever, he wasn't able to come to the hospital to see his new brother or his momma momma!! I had called the pediatric office that first day I was there and asked about Danger's fever, and I made an appointment for the next day. And Shark took him in. Apparently, Danger had had the flu, but now had an ear infection, which is not contagious, but his fever needed to be gone for a whole day before he could come see us. 

His fever didn't return that night or the next day. So Friday, I got to hug all my boys!!! It was wonderful! 

I love these boys! They have my heart and I am the happiest girl in the world. Oh how I love them!!

Danger has been such a champ the past few weeks. Here's what's he's gone thru :

Fever, Flu, Ear infection, New brother and  4 new molars

I did not know he had gotten his molars until I looked yesterday. When did that happen?! Oh, hmmm, it was probably part of what caused his fever.... He is my little champ, my tough guy. 

Pictures!

I love my boys!