Friday, July 25, 2014

Love who you are

So Facebook has been a poster board for quotes. Some good, some annoying, some funny. I've discovered I'm drawn more to the funny and sarcastic ones, something about my upbringing....

These make me laugh and sometimes make my day. But lately there have been some heartwarming quotes on Facebook that hit a note.

This one is from the book You Are Special by Max Lucado, it is such an amazing book.

I have lists in my brain. And lately, the lists I've been reading often are SHOULD DO and DOING, and I find my SHOULD DO list is longer than the DOING list. And the SHOULD DO list is filled with mostly unobtainable things, and the DOING list is filled with feeble, lackluster tasks.

I feel like I should be doing so much more than I am. That I'm lacking as a mom. And I know I'm not the only one. With the popularity of Pinterest we are given just a snap shot of the lives, homes, children, meals, budgets of others. It seriously is just a snapshot. I feel like we are being scrutinized, not only by others but by our selves. I think we hold ourselves (and others) to such a high standard that we are set up to fail.

I know I do it. I've been trying to work on it. Something else I've noticed about the SHOULD DO list in my brain, is there is a buttload of things that do not matter. I don't have to make playdough or chalk or cut Danger's lunches into faces to be a good mom. Sometimes, and more often than not, a bowl of dry cereal, a newspaper hat or a dollar store toy is all that kid needs to smile. It doesn't take a lot for children to feel loved or to be happy.

Motherhood has both given me confidence and taken away some of my confidence. I'm more confident in who I am as a person, as a Daughter of God. But I find myself second guessing myself as a mom and a wife, the choices I make. Is this the right thing, do they need this, should this happen, am I doing this right, should I be doing this? There are so many opinions and voices in our heads and in the media. And it seems the nay-sayers are louder than ever. There are so many roads that lead to the same destination. And no matter which one we choose, there will always be someone along that path telling us "You're doing it wrong." Always. In the end, how we live our lives is completely up to us. The choices we make are ours to make. And since I can't remember the last time I tried something completely new and it came out perfect, I guess I COULD be a little more forgiving, of myself and of others. ;)

Sometimes the days are hard, being a mom, being a parent, a caregiver, is hard. Sometimes it's days that are hard, sometimes it's hours, and sometimes it's moments. There are lots of uplifting quotes and scriptures that help me. But there are 2 thoughts that give me confidence.

1) My children are mine, they always will be and always have been. They have been specially prepared for me. No one else could be their mother. They were meant for me, to be a part of our eternal family.

2) Heavenly Father knows. He knows me, He knows my boys. He knows how it all turns out. He knows who and what my boys will become. He knows who and what I will become. He knows the choices and steps each of us will take, He knows the road we will travel. We see only the moment we are in RIGHT NOW, where He sees our entire journey. He sees the finish line.

I'm starting to LOVE who I am because I AM.

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