Hello goodbye

Hello there. I've had a revelation : if I spent the time writing on my blog instead of on Facebook, I'd have a post a day, Heck, I'd have a post an hour!

The boys have been way cute lately. 

Danger loves digging is his pile of dirt/sand/clay and mom has had to implement a ruling is inside toys and outside toys. 

The Colonel turned 6 months and absolutely loves food. He likes pickles, and I even had the camera ready for the initial "sour pucker" but he didn't even flinch, just dove right in. Momma's boy!

Some days I'm.greeted with this. 

But then it immediately melts into this. :)

We're potty training still, so most days Danger is just rocking the undies. If he wants to go outside he needs shoes (we've lost soo many socks) and he can put his boots on by himself so it's really a win-win. Those are his muscles he's showing you, by the way. 

Shark was in charge while I had an appointment and I walked in the door to find this trapped smiley thing. 

We had our first duo bath. Lots of splashing, smiles, and peeing in the tub. (That is NOT why the water is green!)

Donut day!

So many donuts!

Everytime we drive by the Ogden Temple, Danger says, "look mom, it's my favorite temple!"

So even tho things have been crazy, I've been trying some new things out. Cuz you know, the best time to try something new is when you're life is chaos. The boys and I have been listening to hymns everyday. It's been pretty calm around the house lately, well, compared to normal. 

That being said, Danger had a meltdown today and the only thing that would calm him was me singing "Everything is awesome." Go Lego song. It worked. And to add more smile to my day, I made "Where are my pants?" My notification sound. Cuz me and Danger have the sense of humor of a 3 year old boy. We giggle uncontrollably. Every. Time. 

Smile. Everything is awesome. 

Love who you are

So Facebook has been a poster board for quotes. Some good, some annoying, some funny. I've discovered I'm drawn more to the funny and sarcastic ones, something about my upbringing....



These make me laugh and sometimes make my day. But lately there have been some heartwarming quotes on Facebook that hit a note.


This one is from the book You Are Special by Max Lucado, it is such an amazing book.

I have lists in my brain. And lately, the lists I've been reading often are SHOULD DO and DOING, and I find my SHOULD DO list is longer than the DOING list. And the SHOULD DO list is filled with mostly unobtainable things, and the DOING list is filled with feeble, lackluster tasks.

I feel like I should be doing so much more than I am. That I'm lacking as a mom. And I know I'm not the only one. With the popularity of Pinterest we are given just a snap shot of the lives, homes, children, meals, budgets of others. It seriously is just a snapshot. I feel like we are being scrutinized, not only by others but by our selves. I think we hold ourselves (and others) to such a high standard that we are set up to fail.

I know I do it. I've been trying to work on it. Something else I've noticed about the SHOULD DO list in my brain, is there is a buttload of things that do not matter. I don't have to make playdough or chalk or cut Danger's lunches into faces to be a good mom. Sometimes, and more often than not, a bowl of dry cereal, a newspaper hat or a dollar store toy is all that kid needs to smile. It doesn't take a lot for children to feel loved or to be happy.

Motherhood has both given me confidence and taken away some of my confidence. I'm more confident in who I am as a person, as a Daughter of God. But I find myself second guessing myself as a mom and a wife, the choices I make. Is this the right thing, do they need this, should this happen, am I doing this right, should I be doing this? There are so many opinions and voices in our heads and in the media. And it seems the nay-sayers are louder than ever. There are so many roads that lead to the same destination. And no matter which one we choose, there will always be someone along that path telling us "You're doing it wrong." Always. In the end, how we live our lives is completely up to us. The choices we make are ours to make. And since I can't remember the last time I tried something completely new and it came out perfect, I guess I COULD be a little more forgiving, of myself and of others. ;)

Sometimes the days are hard, being a mom, being a parent, a caregiver, is hard. Sometimes it's days that are hard, sometimes it's hours, and sometimes it's moments. There are lots of uplifting quotes and scriptures that help me. But there are 2 thoughts that give me confidence.

1) My children are mine, they always will be and always have been. They have been specially prepared for me. No one else could be their mother. They were meant for me, to be a part of our eternal family.

2) Heavenly Father knows. He knows me, He knows my boys. He knows how it all turns out. He knows who and what my boys will become. He knows who and what I will become. He knows the choices and steps each of us will take, He knows the road we will travel. We see only the moment we are in RIGHT NOW, where He sees our entire journey. He sees the finish line.

I'm starting to LOVE who I am because I AM.

Train Day

So this week is Spring Break for Shark. He didn't have any classes to go to. We got to hang out with him all week. (And by all week, I mean Monday and Tuesday.) Well, Danger has fallen in LOVE with trains lately. Anytime we hear one, he puts his hand up to his ear and exclaims, "Hear trains, momma!" It's pretty cute. He gets just as excited to see motorcycles, helicopters, and airplanes. But I can take him to see some trains. I have wanted to take him on the Frontrunner for a while now. He's free to ride it, and Shark has a transit pass, so it would just cost $6 for an all-day ride pass for me. Not too shabby to watch that little boy's eyes light up at the trains!

Last week, I told Shark of my plan to take Danger on the train on Tuesday. I thought he had class. He told me didn't, and asked, why not take the train on Monday. So after my ultrasound on Monday

(baby boy is doing great, he's weighing an estimated 5lbs 7oz right now, he's head down, and has been for months, just tossing and turning, kicking and punching.) Shark and I snagged some lunch and headed to the train station. Danger was SOOOO excited to watch the train pull up to the station, so excited to see the other engines there. He skipped the whole way to the train.

The train has a double decker car, so we went up to the top deck and got a seat with a table. We were done with our lunch before the train even pulled away from the station. But that meant Danger could focus on the train going down the track. He loved it. At a few crossings, our train blew its horn, and Danger put his hand up to his ear, and looked up at me, with sheer joy on his face, "Hear trains, momma!!!" He then looked at Shark and told him the same thing.

Riding the train down to Salt Lake was a lot of fun, he was bouncing up and down in his seat. He loved looking out the window and looking at everything. There was an old set of tracks from the parking lot to the platform, and Shark found an old railroad spike, he picked it up and Danger played with it the rest of the trip. He'd hammer it against the rails and just listen to it resonate. It was so much fun to watch him try to figure out how and why that sound was made. Once we got to the Salt Lake station, we hopped on the Trax and Danger was ecstatic to get on, yet another train! It was different, but he loved it all the same. We went to the planetarium. It wasn't very far, but he enjoyed the ride, and we enjoyed watching his face light up.

We didn't spend a lot of time at the planetarium, we didn't go to a show, we just walked around the exhibits and watched the marbles bounce around. My little man was getting tired and cranky. So it was a very well-timed trip, we didn't stay too long, we didn't try to do too much.

He was so excited to get back on the Trax, he giggled and laughed. So happy! We waited at the station for a while for our train to arrive, but it was totally worth it to see that little boy jump up and down as the train pulled up to the station. For me, going to the planetarium is lots of fun, but there is a tradition Shark and I have, we always get rock candy. And it just so happened, they had a 3 pack of rock candy. Now, these rock candy are on the cheap side, they just dip the rock candy in food color after it's made, so Shark's teeth were green, Danger was red all over (it looked like blood, it was such a bad idea!!) and I had pink, probably, everywhere. Danger did have a melt down when I took his rock candy and put it back in the bag. We eventually got him distracted with the other trains we passed. We counted the train cars. He's been stuck on the numbers 18, 19, 20 lately. He'll say 2, 3, 4, but his go-to is 18, 19, 20. So when we got up to 17, I asked him what came next, and he belted out 18! 19! 20!!

Once we got home, the boys took a nap. I think Danger's Train Day was a huge success. It was good to give him a day with just us. We did things he wanted to do, we played with him, and let him go where he wanted, we just followed him. I think every month we can plan a Danger Day, where mom and dad just hang with him all day, just him. And once the Colonel gets bigger, we'll give him a day too, a day with just us.

I feel bad it's taken me so long to start spending good, fun time with Danger. I know he thinks every day is fun, but we never really went anywhere before. It means a lot that he enjoys spending time with me, and smiles as much as he does around me. I love being his mom and am so grateful for the blessing of him in my life. I adore him.

Things I've learned

Ok so there's loads I know now that I didn't know before I became a mom. Some of these lessons were a hard learn. Some were sorta easy. Some just happened. Most of them were trial and error. But all of them have helped me be a good mom.

It's ok to throw out the medicine cups that come with EVERY bottle of medicine. I don't need 30 of them!! I keep the hard plastic ones, and toss the flimsy ones. My silverware drawer has never been happier. Same goes for medicine bottles! I'm tossing those things out!!

It's also ok to throw out dishes. We have a nice 4 place set and we also have a really nice 10 place set that I only use on holidays (when I remember!) but all other days of the week we have the plastic ones from Walmart. I can get 4 cups, or plates or bowls for $1. Each year I buy a different color. Last year was green, this year is orange. After a year of us sawing them with steak knives and microwaving them, they NEED to be tossed. And they are way easy to clean!!

Sometimes movie days are awesome. When I've got a deadline and I have to get something finished, I know I can pop in The Incredibles or Wreck it Ralph and I know Danger will sit and watch them in their entirety. On a good day, he'll watch them both, back to back. I get LOADS done on those days. They don't happen too often, I don't want those movies to lose their magic!

Some days, I struggle, and I've only got 1 child. Man oh man, if I have a hard time, that mom I see with 3 kids must a rough day like every other day!! We all have it hard, being a mom is the hardest job, except maybe mining coal or being an underwater welder... 

Sometimes all I need is to talk to an adult and have them listen, answer questions, and, you know, NOT ignore me. Let's  face it, talking to children all day is tiring, both mentally and emotionally. Having even the smallest amount of adult interaction is so beneficial! Even if its the cashier at Walmart or the person on the other end of the order at the drive thru! I've been trying to reach out to my fellow moms and say "Hey! How are you doing?" cuz sometime, that's what that mom really wants, really needs. 

Mommas can always use a friend. Say hi, have your kid wave to theirs, compliment her shoes, go on walks, drop a text to say hey, go out to lunch at a restaurant with a play place, go to the park, go get a Slurpee, go to the store, invite her over to watch a movie, teach her something, learn from her. Try a find a way to reach out to the fellow mommas in your area. It won't hurt anything, and you might find a really good friend or 2. Plus it'll give you time to relax, both o you, and it'll also give you that much needed adult interaction. 

Next thing : stinky bums. We can tell the kid has a messy butt. Seriously, we can tell, we can smell them from like 5 feet away. I have 1 child, and if something stinks in the house, it's usually him. This is all true, then why, oh why, do I ALWAYS stick my nose right up to his bum and take a big ol' whiff??? I've been trying to not get so close to sniff him. Cuz if he's messy, I don't need to be a 1/2 inch away! I did it again this morning! I swear I almost died! 

You can pick what your kids watch, unless you give them the free choice. Danger is still to little for choices, he's got no idea what I mean when I say pick one. So I pick. I pick Jake and the Neverland Pirates or Daniel Tiger's Neighborhood. He doesn't know what Barney or Yo Gabba Gabba is, cuz I don't want to watch them. I've seen clips of them and cannot tolerate those songs playing over and over. So I pick what he watches. Now, I'm always sure to pick something within his age bracket and learning, and something that will capture his attention. Thankfully there are lots of shows out there that fall within those categories. And every once in a while, we throw in some old school shows, like Chip N Dale and Ducktales and He-Man. He enjoys those too. Yeah, ok so I know it's a little selfish, but momma has to keep her sanity!

It's ok, I know I use as little effort as possible. I know it, and it's ok. Danger has more energy than a Red Bull factory. I wish it could transfer to me, but it can't. We've blocked off the kitchen and upstairs rooms. He has free reign of the living room and his bedroom. I try reall hard to keep anything destroy-able OUT of the living room. Because if it can break, he will break it. Plus it helps me, so I don't have to chase him every minute and I don't have to follow him saying NO all the time. Part of me still uses my pacemaker as an excuse, and that's true sometimes. But for the most part, I want him to explore everything! And he does! He's into everything. And that's ok, he's learning about his world, and his momma lets him. 

It's all about the reaction. Danger loves putting on a show. He loves being cheered and clapped at and high-fived. If he falls down, he might start the pouty-face but we start clapping him and cheering for him he instantly perks up and keeps running. I've learned the kids (or anyone) can't be sad when they are being cheered! You can't be sad when everyone is telling you how awesome you are! If we react "oh no, that's so sad, oh you're hurt, are you ok? come here I'll give you a hug" he cries even more than just being hurt. He milks it for all it's worth. So we react with awesomeness and he goes on being awesome.

It's ok to use your child as a napkin. If I get something on my hands, I wipe it on his shirt. I have taught him to wipe his hands on his own shirt, he does it when I ask him and when he's got something on his hands.... So if I've something on my hands that I don't want to wipe on my clothes (yes that's how I roll...) and then it just melts into the mess on his shirt. Yup... today I even wiped my face on his shirt... I found a relatively clean-ish spot and wiped the pizza sauce from my face...It's ok.

Ok, we're expecting our 2nd here come March... And for a long while I was against having 2 so soon. I knew if I had 2 kids a year apart or something crazy like that I would go insane. I honestly don't think I would be able to handle 2 kids so close together. Shark and I had talked about it and we decided to start trying again when Danger turned 18 months. Well, in January I had a change of heart. If you did the math, you know that Danger wasn't 18 months old until May. After the initial happiness, excitement, surprise - I kinda went into shock a bit. But we wouldn't have tried for another if Shark and I weren't comfortable with having 2 running around. A friend shared this blogpost on Facebook, it's a post from The Shortstop blog. It is seriously, such an awesome post. It's a feel-good mom post. It helped me out so much! It was so good!

And guess what, I'm still learning!!

Mom's Day

So yesterday was Mother's Day.

Shark and Danger made it a great day! They both got me flowers and Shark bought me pizza and Sprite and took me to our park. It was a great day!

Then we went over to Shark's parent's house where this happened :

 

 Yeah.

So I had a great Mother's Day and then I had a panic attack.

It all turned out alright in the end. Shark is safe and sound. :) And really happy.

I love being a mom and am so happy I have my little man. He is such a blessing and an amazing little person. He is such a wonderful spirit, such a curious little friend. I am so grateful for the opportunity to be a mom, for this job and role I've taken on. Some days are hard, but in the end, when my little man is smiling and laughing, I feel great. I enjoy wiggling my fingers at him as he runs away from me, smiling and giggling uncontrollably. I love him! And I am thankful for Shark, for the amazing man he is, the amazing man he'll raise my son to be.

I am thankful for my perspective on the mother I am, and want to be. I thankful that I don't always feel a need to be just like "that" mom. I am thankful for my husband, who understands who I am. I am so very blessed.

Here's my little man and what we've been up to in the past weeks.

11 months

So, I've decided to start where I left off. Now I didn't take an 11 month photo of little man, but I've got some Halloween pics of him that are pretty darn cute.

 So I've been trying this new thing of getting myself in the pictures I take of Danger. I read some article about getting Mama in the Picture. I remember seeing pictures of my mom in my pictures growing up and I want to be in my kids' pictures while they are growing up (no matter how I think I look...). 

 It helps that Danger is so darn cute, and it's fun to be in pictures with him. He's such a little goofball! 

 A friend of mine entered a House Party, she was picked for a Fisher Price House Party. FP sent her all kinds of toys and she invited all the moms with kids she knew! It was so much fun. Danger had so much fun throwing balls around and putting them down the tubes.

 Our little monkey loves eating big boy food. He loves picking up food and sticking it in his own mouth. He eats toast every morning, he can eat 2 hot dogs in one lunch time. He is such a hungry little guy! He LOVES food!

 I just love taking pics with this little cutie!

 Shark had a LifeProof case on his phone, and he was biting it while Danger played with it. Well, Danger wasn't all that happy with Dad just biting it. He got in on the action. My boys are so cute.

Little boy loves baths. He loves splashing in the water and playing! He's so darn cute, that naked boy!

It's-a me, Mario!

 Danger with cousins, B & W.

 Playing with the pumpkins before we carve them!

 And then we got a freaking ton of snow right before his birthday/on his birthday!

  He got a practice cupcake, so he could dive right into his birthday cake. 

He didn't dive into the cupcake, all the frosting on his face is from me or Gingr sticking our finger in the cupcake and then in his mouth. He wasn't too impressed.

Watching this little guy get bigger has seriously been a blast. I love him! He has his own little personality and it has been so much fun to discover it! He's such a little knucklehead. He hams it up for the camera and smiles so big and wide. He walks around just chuckling to himself and squawking. He crashes his little scooter cars into walls and into shelves and when he's bored he'll bonk heads with me while we shop. He's such a goofball! Such a wonderful, beautiful personality!