Just beating myself

So the past 2 weeks have been pretty rough.

Getting a pace maker has been kinda rough on me. The surgery wasn't so bad, but it was still a surgery. Shark and I have been married for 5 years (HOLY FREAKING CRAP!!) and we've dealt with as many surgeries. Ugh.

Anyways, so it's been emotionally hard on me as well. Yeah, surgery sucks, people with their hands all under my skin and what not, bruises upon bruises and stitches upon stitches. But when left to my own devices, my brain starts getting carried away. I'm 26, and I've got a pacemaker. It's hard having your body fail on you, not do what it is supposed to do. It's also one thing to know what's going to eventually happen, and another thing to have it happen. I have known my whole life my heart's function and imperfections. And for some reason, this emotional break down did NOT happen with the open heart surgery, but decided to wait until this. Maybe it's because I have a kid now... Maybe it's that dark and daunting thought - what if something happened and I wasn't around for my kids????

So anyways - after all this turmoil and emotional and physical pain, Shark and I have been planning this little vacation. When we first started planning it, Shark's parents would watch Danger. Well, after them watching him for the past 2 weeks, we knew their schedules wouldn't allow any more "play" time. So we decided to take him with us. And 1 day shy of the 1 week anniversary of my 2nd surgery and on the 2 week anniversary of my 1st one - we went on vacation.

My mom has this timeshare thing, and since we didn't have the moolah to go to Mexico, they found a timeshare exchange week here in Utah. We headed out to Snowbird, which is an awesome resort in the winter, but it's pretty freaking awesome in the summer as well! For one, you can SEE the landscape around you. And the landscape is BEAUTIFUL! It was so pretty and so wonderful up there. Even if we did have a little brat boy with us.

We found a pond and a play ground, and he went nuts. Just played all over. He went on this spinning swing, and got spun off, he didn't like the landing, but he perked up once he got to a slide. He was so tired out. Then we went to a nice restaurant, where I got sushi!

The hotel had amazing restaurants, I tried sushi for the first time, and rather enjoyed it. I explained to the server that I had never had sushi and was planning on trying it. He talked with the chef and then brought out some of the specialties for us to try for free! And then we got free dessert because we were celebrating our anniversary. (Oh, didn't I mention? Shark and I are having our 5th anniversary this year! This MONTH!!)

We went to the pool, which I thought Danger would LOVE, cuz you know, he loves baths.... NOPE! He hated every minute of it! It might not have been that bad if there had been a little kid wading area, instead of just a pool with lanes, but Shark held him the entire time. I couldn't really get in the water (surgery!) so I sat on the steps. It was still fun. Once Danger got out and dried off (it's chilly in the mountains!) he ran around the pool like it was his job. He climbed the rocks and threw wood chips. He tested the hose and made sure the gate was locked. He was so cute.

And then we got up and had breakfast, and they were doing some menu revisions, and the chef brought out this BBQ teriyaki pulled pork to show the manager. Well, the waitress came back around to fill up drinks, and I joked that we could be the testers if they needed us to be, we would sacrifice to test the food. Well, she brought it around and told us to enjoy! It was sooo amazing!

There were little ground squirrels all over and some rock chucks. We fed a little ground squirrel, after the day before some came right up to my toes and walked with us. After that, Shark kept bugging me if I brought food, which oddly enough, I didn't have any in my purse the whole weekend! I always have something in my purse for Danger.

It was a pretty awesome weekend for us. Little Man has been pretty cute too... Even tho we were kinda disappointed that we had to bring him - it turned out to be fun. It all worked out. :)

I love my boys.