Saturday, September 3, 2011

The List - A MUST for Engaged Couples

So, when Shark and I got engaged, I bought 1 bridal magazine. It was huge and full of all kinds of ideas! In this 1 magazine, they had a 3 month checklist. {Which was great, because most Mormon couples aren't engaged for longer than 3 months!!} But it also included The List.

Shark and I come from different family situations and backgrounds. My parents are divorced and I was raised by my stepdad, his parents are still together. I was raised in Wisconsin, 45 minutes from my church building, and members being the minority; he was raised in Utah, 2 blocks from his church building, and members being the majority. I have 5 brothers and sisters, we fought all the time; he has 3 brothers and sisters, and they are best friends. We both had different opinions and thoughts about marriage and raising a family.

The List helped us get on the same page about marriage, duties, chores, holidays and family. The List is a series of questions, questions I never would have thought to ask, never would have thought mattered. We found out later, these questions really did matter, and they made all the diffrence in the world.

I still have the pages from the 1 bridal magazine. I did NOT create The List. We added our own questions to fit our relationship. I am NOT taking credit for The List, but I feel I had to share it. I'm not trying to deny anyone the credit for The List. The name of the magazine I got was LatterDay Bride. Pam Fullmer wrote this article, and she did a wonderful, amazing job in writing the story for The List and The List itself.

Alright, without further ado, here is the link to The List!! I put it on my Google Docs, cuz Google Docs is awesome and easy!

I am also giving you the link to the 3 Month Checklist! It was helpful for me to have a checklist, I was flying back everyother weekend to plan a wedding!!

One thing I also found helpful, was the Wedding Workbook. It gives a checklist, a budget planner, a guest list planner, a photography planner, a music planner, flower planner (with which flowers are in season!), and a reception seating planner!!

Shark and I had our own set of questions on top of the ones in the sample. Do you steal covers? Snore? Creamy or crunchy peanut butter? White or wheat bread? Will you go grocery shopping with me? How do you want us to greet eachother when we get home? What do you do to relax? How do you organize stuff? What do you NOT eat or drink? What smells do you not like? What color would you HATE to wake up to? Sleeping in on Saturdays? How clean do you want/expect things? What do you want to do together? Seperate? What things should we not do so our kids don't do them? Will you help me pick out furniture? Will you talk to me about problems? About your good days and your bad days? How do you handle confrontation? How do you handle anger? Will you confide in me? Medical history?

And those are just a few. We had 5 pages of questions we came up with together. We made a big date night of it, a mega Determine The Relationship date. But we only did this mega DTR after he asked me to marry him, so it didn't catch either of us off guard or make us uncomfortable. We were preparing to share our lives together, so these questions were completely appropriate.

I truly believe that answering these questions strengthened our relationship and helped prepare us more for marriage. We were mostly on the same page when we came out of the Temple that beauutiful day in June. I don't think anything else could have prepared us more or gotten us more prepared.

I figured I'd share The List. I've been thinking about it for a few months now, and finally FOUND it! Trust me, I lose these papers so often, I'm kinda surprised I found them! I hope you enjoy The List!

Love to all in love ♥

1 post-its:


Well, we were engaged for 2 3/4 years and knew each other for 4 years before we got married so I knew A LOT about him. However, I noticed what you discuss before you are married isn't always how it is after. Like that part about him saying he'd 1/2 of the house took me about 14 years to get him to do any (which I have recently trained).