Tuesday, November 12, 2013


Alright - I love being pregnant. I enjoy feeling a baby move inside me. There is no way to explain it but it is such a wonderful feeling. I can only imagine what Mary felt as she carried the baby Jesus within her, or what Elizabeth felt as her child John leapt within her. My little child isn't leaping, by any means, however, it does feel like this child never stops moving.

I see being pregnant as such a miracle. My body is creating another person. I know it is not thru happenstance or luck that my body is able to create. I know it is thru the power and plan and grand design of our Heavenly Father. The precise function of our bodies is glorious and absolutely awe-inspiring. The way our eyes work, our hearts work, our nervous system, our skin. What a blessing we are!! What a miracle we are! And the fact that a man and woman can come together to form another human being, that a woman's body has the ability to provide a nurturing place for a baby to form. That the heart forms, the lungs form, the reproductive organs form, that a whole person forms!!! 

I am so grateful for the opportunity and blessing of being pregnant. I feel like I complain a lot, or that I have with this pregnancy at least. My pregnancy with Danger went very well, aside from my heart issues and the same issues have happened with this pregnancy. I said with my 1st pregnancy, it was very easy. People disagreed with me, fervently. I see where they're coming from. And I admit it, my pregnancies are not easy ones. They aren't the worst pregnancies I've seen or heard of, but they rank up there. I'm not on bed rest, I don't need to be on an IV, I don't throw up the entire time, my hips don't separate. I've heard horror stories from other women. When compared to those, my pregnancies are easy. But I know my pregnancies are not easy. Pregnancy itself is not easy. It is hard. It's hard on the body, it's hard on the emotions and hard on those around you. It leaves a wake of depression and pain. But it also enriches the lives of those around you and blesses you for eternity. It's not easy, but if things were easy, then end result wouldn't be as cherished or cared for. 

I see what my fellow moms go thru during their pregnancies. It just reaffirms to me : just how blasted tough we are! We're freaking awesome! This is one of the hardest things we will ever do, but we do it, and even tho it's hard and we struggle, we smile thru it. We enjoy it. We cherish these feelings. We see the blessings. 

Alright, back to me complaining. Danger is nonstop. He is always going, always moving, always into stuff. He never slows down. Which also means, I never slow down. I'm always chasing him around. With Danger's pregnancy, my hips started hurting at 3 months. This one, it fells like my hips started hurting right away wen we found out, at 8 weeks. I have been hurting when I walk, when I sit down, when I stand, when I bend... The headaches have always been around, just now I can't take anything for them, so I can't even pretend that what I'm taking will help. And Lovenox freaking sucks. I inject the shot into my stomach, and it burns. For like 5-10 minutes. And instantly bruises. So I have little speckled bruises all over my belly, and my shirts have little speckles of blood on them. My belly is Danger height, and he's always poking me, saying "baby" which is cute but also painful. The doctors have said the words over and over : for the remainder of the pregnancy. I don't look forward to that (pretty soon, I won't ha e belly fat to pinch and will have to find a new location!) but when the other outcome is a blood clot, yup I'll take shots. Sucky crappy shots sure do beat a blood clot any and every day. Alright, the last thing that sucks for me right now : emotions and hormones. I have noticed I've been more emotional and hormonal this pregnancy than I was with Danger. I have had more sever mood swings and been more easily brought to tears. (VeggieTales made me cry!) I have been so crazy emotional and so reactive lately. It has been so strange. I gave Shark a disclaimer after the first few outbursts. Apologizing and giving warning. Now, if I'm feeling in an odd mood, I let him know right away. And he is really good about tiptoeing and being careful with what is said. He's very good about thinking of my feelings anyways, pregnant or not, but he is so wonderful and amazing now. I have an awesome husband, who even tho he doesn't fully understand why or what happened, he is so good. 

Alright - all of this being said, all the complaints, all the struggles - I absolutely LOVE being pregnant. I love feeling the kicks and punches. I love waking up and putting my hand on my stomach, to feel my baby RIGHT there! It is such a beautiful thing. I am truly blessed to have one child and it is a miracle that I am pregnant with our 2nd. I love it. I am so excited for this baby. So excited for Danger to have a little brother. So excited for Shark to have 2 kiddos to toss and hold and play with. I love the look in his eyes when he hugs Danger. When Danger runs up to him and cheers "daddy!" It is the best feeling in the world when Shark hugs me and Danger and he says, "I love this little family." I love my boys. I am so excited to have 2 children. I look forward to hugging both my kids. I am already so in love, just as I was with Danger, much earlier than his arrival. I love the feeling of hugging Danger and having baby kick and punch. 

Alright now how about some pictures?
First ultrasound. 
Second ultrasound. 
Third ultrasound. The little bean wiggled and squirmed soooo much, the doctor couldn't get a good image. I think this is an arm? Leg?

So very in love and so very grateful.