Focusing

**I cut Danger's hair last week, so pictures with his mop head are older ones, and his new crazy hair cut is, of course, new!

So Danger and I have been going to the Treehouse Children's museum every week. It's been very fun. A friend goes every week, we even saw each other today. Our toddlers are each running in different directions, so even if we start out together, we don't end up staying together. Danger is all over, but he loves the trains and the tool bench so we usually stay there for a while. But it's been fun to hang out with my little man, just the two of us, before this little bean gets here. Plus, I totally count all the chasing around as exercise. I'm walking and at least staying in the same shape that I'm currently in. (The plan after baby bean is born, is to walk to get fit again, to lose this baby weight and the weight from the FIRST baby!!!) So I chase Danger around this children's museum, I always try to keep him in sight, not out of worry, but because that little guy is fast. If I look away for even a minute, suddenly he's up the stairs. So I try really hard to stay with him. I've even started tricking him, if he starts to take off, I call to him and say, "Hey, Danger, momma needs help, can you come help her?" And I'll hold out my hand and he'll come grab it and pull me to where he wants to go. It's very convienient. Anyways, today, we were at the train tables, there was another boy there, and I had to keep Danger from taking his trains, and keep Danger away from him cuz he was pushing Danger away from his trains. The mom there did not look up from her phone. Then she looked up and asked her son where his sister was. Now, I'm usually attached to my phone.  But when I'm at the Treehouse with Danger, the only reason I have it out is to take pictures. I'm not texting anyone, or on Facebook (I update and post pictures once we're home) or playing a game. My time is Danger's when we're there, when he's playing and I have to chase him. I can't be half there. The whole reason we go to the Treehouse, is so we can play together. I spend plenty of time at home on my phone.

This past month has been crazy emotional. I've been fighting my frustrations and anxiety. My emotions have been off the charts, I go from being in an amazing great mood to suddenly hollering at Danger for something. I've found a blog that has helped me not feel so crummy. Like I'm not the awful mom I feel like, like I'm not alone for having those moments of anger, or days where I don't cook dinner or so laundry. It's called Findingjoy.net and it is wonderful. She just says YOU'RE A REAL MOM! And some days I just need to remember that. I need to remember that I am the mom that my kids need and all the little things I do, they all matter! Some days, it's just what I need to hear, it gets me thru my day.

This little baby bean has been rolling and spinning and kicking. He kicks all day, but usually noon is his "quiet time" and then after Danger goes to bed, while I'm watching tv, or writing a blog post, he just kicks and spins and punches. It's exhausting. I don't know how much room he's got left, but I don't think it's much. But he is testing his limits, he's just punching everything. The thing is, he usually doesn't kick me high. He's usually kicking me below the belly button. On both sides, and my bladder at the same time. Danger doesn't have the patience to hold his hand on my belly and feel baby kick, now as soon as someone's hand goes to my belly, he stops squirming. So it's hard. It's like they're already teasing each other. I'm 33 weeks now. This is me, in my 33 week pregnant gloriousness. Just smuggling a basketball. 

Danger LOVES helping his dad. If Shark is in the garage, Danger goes and picks up a tool and starts "fixing" things. Or if Shark is carrying things from the car to the house, Danger goes and helps. 

Shark has been getting ready for the paragliding season. I think it's too cold, but these boys are so ready to fly. They already have and there is no stopping them. I just have to tell Shark to pace himself, he has school to focus in right now, he'll have all summer to play. But he's very good about when he flies, and he keeps everything in perspective. He's very amazing and wonderful. 

Shark and talked about our Valentines Day plans, we were going low key. Like seriously. It's not like I said, Oh I don't want anything, and I was lying about it. Seriously. I told him all I wanted was Snickers and Butterfingers. No flowers, I kill them and they cost too much for me to just kill them, almost without remorse. I technically had something for him, but it was something I found in my craft room that he could use, but I didn't buy it. I found a craft organizer, a big compartment case that is perfect for his tools or fishing stuff or flies or his bullet making stuff or anything else. It's like bigger than a piece of paper and the compartments are adjustable. I wasn't using it. And then my man delivered. I got Butterfingers and Snickers for Valentines Day! He also go donuts and he got me a balloon, which Danger has since hijacked. But it was perfect. It was everything I needed. My strong man even broke the packages to shape into a heart. (I live my life with packages being opened like this, just ripped in half. I freaking LOVE it!)

Now I have a TON of pictures to upload. So this is going to be a heavy one. 

I love this boy. He is so funny. Some days he LOVES to take pictures (mostly so we can go back and look at them again) but some days it is a fight to get him to sit still and look at the camera. I love catching him in a silly-photo moment. I like when he snuggles with me. He's a cute little snuggler. I enjoy spending time with my little boys, the little one just hangs out in his waterbed all day, and Danger just plays. I'm getting even more excited to meet little brother. I know it'll be a while before his personality shows, and I know we're still discovering Danger's but I am so excited to see the baby and teach Danger about him and play with him. I'm excited to see how Danger handles being a big brother. I think he'll be fine and he'll be a good big brother, but it'll be fun to see, cuz I know Danger doesn't really get it yet. He kisses "the baby" on my tummy, but he also hugs any older person cuz he thinks they're grandma or grandpa. He's got no clue. I'm excited for everything to come, a little nervous but I hear that happens every time a new child is added to the mix. 

So in love!