Tuesday, February 26, 2013

one of those days

So last week, I had one of "those days".......

It was just a bleak and very rough day for me.

Money has been sooo tight lately. And to add salt to the huge wound we have some text books we paid for. 

Oh, and we pretty much break even with taxes this year. We owe what we get back....

it sucks.

Friday was a very rough day for me. 

It just all hit me at once. and it was so hard.

I didn't want to do anything. No cooking dinner. No cleaning. No playing. Nothing.

It was one of those days where I put on TV for Danger and I just sat on the couch all day,

and I cried,

Honestly, I pushed him away most of the day. 

Part of me just didn't want to help him, hold him, hug him or deal with him at all. It hurts to say that, but it happened. I don't have days like that often, but when I do, it sucks so much.

Everything just happened at once, and I didn't want to deal with any of it.

For me, when days like that happen, I start to feel very insecure, and very frustrated. I feel like I don't contribute to our financial situation at all. And that hurts too! For the first 2 years of our marriage, I was the major bread winner.

On those few days, my self-esteem goes down and my insecurities go up. And the depression sinks in.

BUT

Thank goodness it only lasted for a day.  It usually just lasts for the day and then it's gone. :)

Saturday it snowed a freaking TON - and Danger and I went out to shovel snow and we played in it. He kept falling face first and LOVING it!! 

Bandit loves the snow, which makes it a pain to shovel, but Danger just laughed and laughed. He was throwing snow and jumping in it. Falling in it, kicking it. He loved it.

His cheeks were pink, when I took the gloves off, his hands were pink. When I took off his soaked pants, his legs from the knee down were pink. His skin was cold but he didn't act cold. He just smiled!

Then we went up to hang out with friends at their cabin. He fussed and cried but eventually calmed down and played and played!

He sure has been awful cute. 

We love that little guy.

I'm very glad "those days" don't happen very often, and when they do they don't last long.   

Well - here is what cheers me up : my family.  Enjoy some pictures! :) 

 playing in the jump pit
 this is my cracker
 smirk
 look mom!
 chilling watching movies
 yayay! Reese's Pieces!
 i am unimpressed, mom
 totally zoned into The Incredibles
 my big guy weighs 23lbs and is 33" tall!
 waiting for the dr
 playing in my hot tub of toys
cool dude
 look mom, SNOW!
 playing in the snow
 taking the sword out of the stone
Love - this happy mama

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