Saturday, April 21, 2012

couch tater

So yeah um, about yesterday's post and heading down to Thanksgiving Point for the Queen Bee Market? Yeam nope. That would mean I have to leave my house. And these days it seems I'm not too fond of that particular activity. Meaning, I am such a complete couch potato.

I have found some resolve to go for walks {lately it has died tho since Utah decided it wasn't quite done with winter.} and I try to go when it's warm out. And I have started scorekeeping again. So twice a week, me and Danger head out and start scorekeeping around 6:30pm and get done around 9:30pm. It's been a little rough this week cuz it has been just me and him, so I'm trying to run the scoreboard, keep the book and wrangle him. Not too bad, he is a freaking awesome baby. {Last night he did end up spilling my water on me and the books... funny he did not get wet at all.... How can he plan stuff like that?!}

Back to my couch potato-ness... I figure I handled post partum depression pretty good. At least up until now. I feel like I've given up on certain things. My house will always be dirty, the laundry will never be done, and I feel sorta like it's not worth it to even try. I know that sounds lame, but lately I don't even try. I haven't been crafting lately, and trust me, I have a list of things to do and make. I even bought a brand new awesome looking sewing machine. Still in the box. I did get the manual out to read it, I'm still on the diagram of what button does what and what accessories came it the machine. Yup.

I justify my tater-ness by crocheting things for Christmas. Yeah. So I just sit there, crochet and watch TV. Danger hangs out with me. I'm not neglecting him. I love that little guy, we play talk back and forth, and roll around on the ground. But I just feel like I'll forever be stuck at home, so I might as well not try to do anything else. I'm not trying to make anyone sad or feel bad for me. {Shark, I know you read my blog sometimes, this is just how I feel.}

Most days, I feel like I'm not missing out on anything. I have my baby-dude and we hang out, he's learning all kinds of new things. {He's discovered he can make noise too, and that his knees can do stuff.} And I love my house, I just wish it were cleaner, but apparently not enough to fix it... Sometimes I feel like the only person in the world not doing something. It makes me wonder how other moms do it, how they stay happy, how they don't resign to the feelings that come with non-stop laundry and full-time mop. Yeah, that's one thing I'm trying to work on this month : being happy about things, all things. Heck I survived 2 open heart surgeries, I can survive laundry.

Today, being Saturday, I do plan to get my crochet stuff under control and moved from half the couch and into the basket. And I want to get the laundry folded/put away. Also, I would like the table cleaned off = Easter stuff put away. And one thing I can do while I sit here, is create a post about the crochet monkey I made for Danger. That will come later tho. I would also like to go for a walk, it is really really nice out today!

Anyways, sum up. Somedays are good days, somedays are bad days. Somedays I'm a champ, somedays I'm a wimp.  I have ideas. I need to get out of the house. I need to look inside myself and see that I'm a good mom, a good wife. I need to show how happy I really am! I need to walk it off. I need to pary more. I need to enjoy it all. I love my Little Man, I love my Big Man, I love my puppy. I love my house. I love my family. I love my life.

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