mean girls

Ok, so lately I've noticed girls are meaner.

From the sorority email heard around the web, to the female sports writer totally hashing on a NBA cheerleader.

It's bad enough I have ME telling myself I don't look good, I'm not in shape. (So the in shape part is so true!!) I'm pretty sure shirt sizes have gone down... cuz I used to be a medium in most shirts, but I have now gone up to the large in most shirts. (I also understand, a L shirt just means it's larger than the medium, it has NO reflection on me and my size.... but sometimes it sucks to see that big L on the back of my shirt....)

And I am so thankful I'm not in high school, or even college anymore, because I don't want to deal with all that peer pressure and peer criticism. I'm so grateful to be out of there, and only have the friends who I like and want, and who want to be around me and like me!

I'm a little terrified for my kids. I'm scared for them growing up in this world - where boys are mean and girls are meaner. I don't want them to be bullies and I don't want them to be bullied.

I want my kids to strong and confident. I want my kids to stand up for others and themselves. I will try my hardest to raise them with confidence and kindness.

Danger has started defending himself. He leads with his fist lately. And I'm just a little worried about my little boxing kid.

But then there are times where he does the goofiest things and doesn't seem to care in the slightest!

 We were watching Elmo before bed. Elmo = Baby Crack

 Kisses for dad!

 Chilling watching Incredibles

 Donuts?! I LOVE donuts!

 Look how tall I am

 Bandit, you are so comfy!

Me and Shark!

I love my goofy boy!

And sometimes you just have to knock

So lately Danger has been closing doors just so he can knock on them. But there's a problem too - he's afraid of the dark. (I understand, he'll probably kill me in the future for posting this.) If a room is too dark and he knows or feels he's alone, he starts to freak out. 

There is another problem too - he has started to do this soft whimper cry kind of thing. So sometimes if he's stuck he just quietly sits there and whimpers. 

So that makes it hard to find him sometimes. It doesn't help that he has started to ignore his name.

He turns for anything other than his name. So I have started to call him Butt Munch. He answers at least.

So my neighbors must think we're either really cruel (walking around the house calling for Butt Munch) or really weird. 

Anyways, what I'm getting at, is that sometimes, when it's dark and scary, and you feel like you're alone, you just have to knock on the door. And screaming for help, seems to aid in rescue.

I know, for me personally, I have hard time asking for help. I'm stubborn, and for some reason, I think I can do everything on my own and if I asked for help it means I'm weak. I'm a very independent person, and I kinda hate asking for help. Shark has been the one person I feel comfortable asking for help, because he often asks me for help. 

When I'm sick and down in the dumps, I can't seem to ask for assistance. I'd rather suffer thru it and deal with it myself. Like my stupid headaches. I've had them for so long, and I've learned to deal with them. Pretty much, Shark is the only one who know when I have them, because I tell him, but also because I don't let on that I have one, or how bad they are. 

So I guess what I'm saying is : Sometimes you just have to knock. Just have to ask for help. 

And also - Someone will always be there for you. Someone will always be there to help you out of the dark.

Here's to my cute little guy! He looks so different with his hair cut! His ears stick out more! :)

Finding the strength

So some days it's hard to battle that inner voice that keeps telling me

"You're not good enough"

"You're doing it wrong."

"Are you sure that's how everyone else is getting it done?"

"That doesn't look like the tutorial."

The feeling of lacking and inadequacy is daunting.... I know I will never be a Pinterest Mom, and my house will never be that perfect Pinterest House.

A while ago, I got so annoyed with that. Knowing my house is probably always going look like a tornado blew thru it. There will probably always be laundry baskets sitting in the living room. Danger's shoes and toys thrown around. My table will probably always have a mismatched arrangement of forks and cups with some craft supplies for good measure, maybe even some socks, if I'm lucky. My counter will probably always have my crock pot, measuring cups, cookbooks and that loaf of bread or two on it.

I've slowly come to accept this. Why?

Because for the past little bit I have tried. Tried to keep everything clean, sorted and out of the way. And while I have been trying, I've noticed a few things.

1. I have more headaches.
2. I clench my teeth more.
3. I don't eat as much, like ever...
4. I yell more.
5. I've been more angry, for no stinking reason.
6. Danger has been in more trouble lately - not really, but I've been on edge and so "done" with everything

And I realized, I don't want to be "that" mom. The mad mom, the nagging mom, the pushy mom. I don't want Danger to be in trouble all the time. I don't want these headaches. I don't want to yell.

I want Danger to know I love him, know because I play with him, and dance with him and tickle him and be goofy.

Last night Danger woke up crying (I'm not sure if it's night terrors or something) but I went in there (Shark is dead to world when he's asleep!) and cuddled him up in a blanket and rocked him back to sleep. I stroked his hair to calm him down, and after about 5 minutes his sobbing had slowed to every few breaths. And then when I laid him back down, he was fine.

I want to share moments of mom victories like that. I want to share my love of this gospel with him. I want to share my love and appreciation for Temples with him. I want to share my love of movies and video games with him. I want to have fun always have him smiling.

Now, I know it's not possible to have him smiling all the time. But I'd like to make him a happy little boy.

I find my strength and knowledge that I'm doing things just right thru the gospel and my friends around me. I find comfort in reading the scriptures and listening to the words of the Prophet and His Apostles. I know that what I'm doing in my life is right for me, it may not be right by other standards and it may not be right anyone else, but I know it's right for me.

So if you're coming over to the house, don't be shocked if looks like we actually live here. I'll probably clean up a bit if you give me notice that you're coming.

I love that little man so much, and I love my little family. I want more than anything for my family and I to be happy. And if happy means a messy house, then by all means, our house is probably going to be the messiest on the block. Messy it will be, but you can bet, I know where everything is! (It always amazes Shark!)

I try to smile and make Danger smile each day. Find something to be happy about. Most days it's pretty easy to find something to smile about, some days it's kinda hard. But for the most part, that little guy makes it easy to smile. :)

And then, there are those little victories, like spelling inadequacy correctly on the first try!

Thursday WHOA

Ok, so I know, I didn't post yesterday during his nap. I have a reason, not an excuse.

I was driving.

Shark's car died yesterday morning on his way to work.

I was driving down to pick him up and get things sorted out with the car.

And in order to get down there by the time he was off work : I had to leave at 4. So Danger slept in the car. While I battled traffic.

Now this is the Focus. The Focus that has done this before, has died, has fallen apart.... Yeah....

But this car is beat up. Shark drives it an hour to work and then an hour home 3 to 4 days a week. So yeah, if I had to do that, I'd die every now and then.

I'm tired of this car, but in reality, this car has been a trooper. It's been a blessing to us. We've had it for over a year and a half. It's a champ.

So I really am grateful for this car.

But I'm hoping Shark gets his motorcycle working again.

Anyways - so my nerves were shot yesterday.

I tried to take a tow dolly down - but I have never towed anything. Ever. So it freaked me out, and I was already nervous about driving down in traffic. So add a bouncy noisy dolly on top of a headache and rush hour traffic - and I was done before I even got started. I ended up calling the insurance company and taking the dolly back. The insurance company was kinda helpful. We at least got the car towed to a service center and off the road. But it's still far away, so Shark is getting a trailer today to tow it home.

It's just been kind of a big headache. Shark and I have both been in a mood lately.... It's been kinda crazy.

It always seems like, as soon as things start to work out, that's when everything falls apart.

Now, I know, it's not everything that's fallen apart, it's just the car thing. But it has potential to mess up all of our budget plans, and money plans. And we all know, once the budget is messed up, nothing else can flow properly.

So yeah - it's been that kind of day/days.

Here's to silver linings. :)

Menu plan 4-15

Ok so my very ambitious menu plan for the next 2 weeks :

4.16 : going to a friend's house
4.17 : Bacon Ranch Slowcooker Chicken
4.18 : Minestroganoff
4.19 : Chicken and Gravy
4.20 : Crock Pot Taco Soup
4.21 : Sunday at in-laws
4.22 : Dorito Casserole 
4.23 : Pizza quesadillas
4.24 : Buffalo Chicken Sandwich
4.25 : Cheeseburger Soup
4.26 : Fish and tots
4.27 : Chicken alfredo with garlic bread
4.28 : Left overs for Sunday

So there you have it.

The 1st week I just kinda picked stuff that would be good for Shark's lunches. Ability to be reheated and how desirable it is upon reheat are the main factors.

The 2nd week I followed my theme - Mexican Monday, Pinned Tuesday, Chicken Wednesday, Meat Thursday, Fish Friday, Noodle Saturday. :)

We'll see how it goes.

Also, I'll have you know, I have ulterior motives for linking the recipes in my post... It's easier for me to find the recipes. Yeah. But I am also sharing them! Yay for sharing!

So we'll see how this goes.

I've also got a plan to stay within my grocery budget. This week I kinda didn't do so well... I was running to the store for things I forgot, or other. I needed to get toilet paper cuz I needed baby wipes. (Yes, I'm THAT mom, who makes her own butt wipes.)

So yeah. :)

Here's to plans! Love to all -

101 updates

Ok so I feel like I've made quite a bit of progress, but un-photographable progress...

I will list off the things I've completed.

01. Make a budget, stick to it!  - We've been working on this and so far we've been doing pretty good.

02. Start couponing - ok, so I started... but it was hard to keep up with coupons and figure out which sales to match up with... It was hard... WAS

04. Make and keep a Christmas budget, birthday too! - So we've made a Christmas budget, now to see if we can stick to it. I'm pretty confident we can.

07. Keep tabs on Shark's 401(k) - I use Mint.com to keep track of his 401(k) and our other accounts. Sometimes it messes with my bank account, like tries to log me in and so I have to call and confirm it really is me, but other than that, it's pretty good.

13. Buy external hard drive for photos - So I was driving Danger around CostCo, and saw a 4T hard drive for like half the price they normally are! So I bought one... It's been pretty awesome. We needed it too, the hard drive on our desktop was ALL used up!

14. Buy external hard drive to back up files - Same external hard drive as above cuz it's freaking HUGE.

17. Attend Education Week - I'm all registered for this year's education week! So freaking excited! It's like EFY for grownups! Shark's going to watch Danger that week, and I am so grateful!

23. Read/listen to 100 books - I've been getting FREE books for my Kindle, and I have been reading while the kids nap, and while Shark sleeps when I can't. I have found my free books at OneHundredFreeBooks.com (there's more than 100! He posts 5 free book every morning, afternoon and evening. 

26. Comment on 50 random blogs - I link up to 10 on 10, and I find other blogs and I comment on them. I like seeing what other people post.

27. Write a letter to myself to open at the end of the 1001 days - Wrote it and sealed!

34. Monthly trip to DI, drop off - This is month I started this. I need to keep up with it, there is so much in this house that needs to go!

44. Make new Christmas gifts - The list has been made, and all the materials will be bought next month! I'm so excited!

45. Blog once a week - I've been blogging on Thursdays while Danger naps. :) it's pretty awesome.

46. Do 10 on 10 for a year - This is the first month I've actually remembered!!

47. Take more pictures - I'm still doing my daily pics of Danger or me - or us! :)

48. Find and try 1 new recipe each month - With the help of Pinterest I've been finding all kinds of awesome new recipes. And most of it has been good. MOST!

50. Make Headboard, Height ruler, screen door - I made the height ruler. instead of a headboard, I want to put up a shelf! And we need to get our screen door painted and put on, and a NO SOLICITORS sign put on!!

59. Bake bread from scratch - I made Amish Friendship Bread, which totally counts! But I also plan on making some good old homemade bread.

62. Photo of myself everyday - me and K - So far, I've only missed 1 day (back in January!) 103/365, 28%!!

66. Measure K every month - Last I checked he was 34" Holy crap!

67. Plan 2 weekly activities for babysitting - I'm thinking I'm going to start a "Letter of the Week" We eat food that begins with that letter, and do a craft, like color a paper plate with that letter on it. Yeah...

70. Drink 64 oz of water each day - I've been drinking like a camel!

78. Keep up with General Conference traditions - Last week we made pizza in between sessions, homemade pizza dough! So good! I think it's a keeper!

79. FHE every week - This is week 1! 

80. Read the Scriptures cover to cover - I've been reading every night. :)

82. Keep up with family scriptures and family prayer - We've been reading and praying every night together. :)

92. Try 10 new restaurants - We went to Ruby River, a buffet in Wendover, and Woody's BBQ

97. Go on at least 1 date a month - I make sure that boy takes me on a date every month! At least once!

So my service project of making baby hats has been going great. I dropped off the first 50 of them. And I found a pattern for premie hats. I'm pretty excited to be making them. Those hats are soooo stinking small! I can't imagine a baby small enough to fit them! But I know there are some wee babies who will wear them. :) 

So there. That's what I've done so far. :) There is so much that I'm working on. 

Oooh - and some cute!

 So he always holds his hands behind his back!

 This was a rough day...

 Cute family!

 Breakfast!

 Rug burn on his forehead from pushing a ball.

The Caped Maestro!

Love all- 

Thursday Nap 4-11

Well, hello again.

Nap times are a cherished thing around here. Whenever Shark is around, he and Danger take naps together.

When Shark is at work, Danger naps while I try to do something around the house.

Keyword : TRY

Anyways, today here is what I tried to accomplish.

Taxes. We've had our taxes done for over a month... We have already got our Federal return back, but we had to mail in our payment to the State. Which means I had to print out our State forms, which I have been totally slacking on.

So I printed out our completed return, and got the check ready to mail out. Too bad the mail man came 20 minutes early today....

Taxes for next year. Yes. I know I'm a planner, but I'm not that good. This year, my taxes are going to be a little different. I need to prepay on my taxes for my babysitting job. So I had to print out those forms.

More forms. One of my goals is to write up a living will. So I printed out those forms today too. Shark and I will start working on those forms on his next weekend.

Christmas. Yes, I am already working on this year's Christmas gift. I've got it all planned out, expect for a few people's gifts. Shark has 2 months where he gets a 3rd paycheck. Those months are so awesome! And I've already been talking to Shark about how we are going to allocate that "extra income." Here's the plan, some of the "extra" paycheck from the 1st month goes to Christmas, and some goes to registering our cars. (We NEVER plan for registering our cars!) The 2nd month's "extra" income is partly going to Christmas and partly going to our trip this Christmas, we're heading back to WI for Christmas with grandma and grandpa.

Shark says he likes it when our Christmas budget doesn't hit our bank account all at once. It hurts the money bone much less when the Christmas budget hits a bit at a time. Also, it's one of my goals to make and keep a Christmas budget. :) We shall see.

Yeah - so nap time was good time for me. I like getting things figured out.

I'm also pretty excited about Christmas this year. I mean, I'm excited every year. I'm excited to get/make gifts for each individual person on my list. I love finding THAT gift for them. I'm also planning on making quite a few things for people. This year, I've planned to only get/make a few things per person. It seems like every year I plan to only get each person a few things, and I always end up going over the top. I keep finding things for them, so I keep buying things for them. I feel like I'm being a cheapskate for only getting people 1 or 2 things.

 But this year, we are trying to get out of debt and save money. So this year we're pretty freaking serious about sticking to our holiday budget. Sorry everyone, but it's going to be a few things this year, like 1 or 2. Seriously.

But you're probably going to like it. You better!

Like I said, I'm excited about getting presents for people! I find things specifically for YOU!

Yay! Anyways, that's been my day so far. Just chilling with my little guy. We've been dancing to all kinds of music lately. That little guy loves getting his groove on. Too bad he stops dancing as soon as I pull out my camera. I'll try to get some footage of it soon!

Love to all -

10 on 10 April

So I have been such a slacker lately.

I have a goal to do 10 on 10 for a year. It's not hard, I just always forget. For some reason, I can't remember to ever start taking pictures. I've even set alarms for it. And forgotten anyways.

So today, I actually remembered! So once I remembered, I set an alarm on my phone! I'm kinda excited to actually follow thru.

I'm taking the pictures with my iPhone, cuz I always have it. And I have written on the pics what we were doing. (I have the **free** Phonto phone app, you can write on your pics!)

1. vacation planning 2. making hats while babysitting 3. babysitting while mine is napping 4. home, just chilling with hubby and dog 5. lunch time! 6. I had to hold him still so I could get the pic 7. I found some leftover Easter candy, hubby told me he ate it all 8. Driving to the store 9. my haul after shopping 10. Danger found a pen, drew on his face

Actually, that's a pretty typical day for me. I babysit the neighbor girls in the mornings, my son is able to come with and play, it's pretty fun for all of us. He takes 2 naps a day and I was able to go shopping during his 2nd nap cuz my husband was home today. I don't mind taking him shopping with me, he's pretty good, but I certainly don't mind leaving him home to nap! 

I hang out with my son every day, and I mostly love it. 

My blog, my Facebook and my Instagram are plastered with his face, and his antics. He's a pretty cute and crazy little tornado.

I'm linking up to a bit of sunshine. 

Here's one last shot of my crazy cutie!

Love!

Thursday Nap 4.4

So, since I usually have Thursday free and I want to blog weekly at least, I figured I could put something kinda constructive into my Thursdays - rather than just watching TV and eating chips.

Danger's napping so the timing is perfect!

This past week has been pretty run of the mill.

We did kind of go on a spending spree. Ugh. I know.

I'm such a hypocrite! I sit here and complain about money and not being able to skrimp and save. But then we register the boat, get used tires on the boat trailer, we bought some (cheap!) seasons of Survivor, and I HAD to buy my Mother's Day present early.

Ok, the boat - I put it under Shark's Father's Day present. That boat has been sitting on the side of our house since we moved here. Not working. Every winter it fills up with snow and ice, then every spring it drains into the boat and thru it. He's excited cuz the boat works now! Yayay!

Survivor - I started watching Survivor again, and freaking fell in LOVE with it! It's so awesome and then I had to get Shark in on it. It's now a show we LOVE together! There are a few seasons on Hulu, well, once those seasons were over, we bought some seasons on Amazon Instant Video. Well - no more are left on AIV, so we had to buy some. You know, we HAD TO!!

My Mother's Day present this year is baby books. We only have 1 little guy, but I want all my kids to have the same book, and I don't have a baby book for Danger yet. Well, I have a beautiful 1st Year Memories book my aunt made, but I want books that have more than 1 year. The books I picked out are 1-5 years, they have a family tree page. AND these weren't too expensive, I've been looking at memory books for a while, and they can be anywhere from $16-60! I want all my kids' books to be the same, so I bought 4, we're planning on having 4 kids. :)

SO yeah....

Last weekend was fun. Friday night the whole family went to Wendover for a buffet. Shark's brother got free buffet tickets. So we all headed over Friday after Shark got off of work.

We got home around 2 am, so we slept in Saturday morning, and did NOT make it to any Easter egg hunts. Saturday was just an easy relaxing day. After Danger was in bed that night, I put some candy in some plastic eggs and hid them for the little guy. As soon as Danger figured out there was goodies inside and there were more than 2, he got so excited.

I picked the black and mint green suit for him for Easter. And he was such a stud muffin at Church.

At Shark's parent's house he played with bubbles and his bug magnifier. And he ate TONS of candy! It was a fun Easter for him! He's been pretty cute signing MORE and PLEASE all week!

We sure do love that little man.

Growth

So I found this Character Strengths Survey. I went to AuthenticHappiness.org and then down the main blue column to VIA Survey of Character Strengths.

It was kinda long, 240 questions, but it took about 10 minutes.

And I guess, the results surprised me. But happy and good surprise. I'm not going to share all of my results, as they are kinda personal, but I will share my top strength is Capacity to love and be loved : You value close relations with others, in particular those in which sharing and caring are reciprocated. The people to whom you most close are the same people who feel most close to you.

I didn't anticipate being loved and loving was my top strength.

I will also share my #24 strength. (There are 24 strengths, they rank them all from 1-24 per your answers.)

My #24 weakness is Self-control and self-regulation : (surprise, surprise!) You self-consciously regulate what you feel and what you do. You are a disciplined person. You are in control of your appetites and your emotions, not vice versa. (Written as a strength.)

I'd say that is true. Sometimes I find it very hard to control myself...

Ok - now for other growth.

Danger is getting so big. He is 34 inches tall, and he weighs 23 lbs! I know it's not much of a change, but he seems like he's getting so big so fast. He seems to grow each week.

He is always moving, going around, looking at things, working things out, moving parts, turning wheels, pushing buttons, closing and opening. I can see it in his little eyes, him trying to figure things out, discovering how it works, how it happens.

He is ALWAYS going, never stopping. He only stops when I put The Incredibles on. He zones out to that movie, he can sit and watch the whole entire movie!!

Alright, now for the cute.

 playing with the chicks

 sweeping momma's floor

 getting them clean

 the Easter chicks we bought

 watching The Incredibles

 Mom, I'm trying to watch!

Watching friends play games

It's been pretty fun with this little guy! :)