Friday, April 16, 2010

you and your heart

Cause you and your heart Shouldn't feel so far apart.

Yesterday I had a cardiologist appointment, and I was kind of worried, just a little. The doctor bunped up my meeting with him to before my echo, and then he cancelled my echo all together! I was like, Oh no! What did he see onthe stuff from Colorado?! But when I met with him, he said he had all the info from CO, and that no repeats tests were needed. He was forthright, and honest and blunt. It was new to have a doctor like that, I'm used to pediatricians, who sugar coat everything, and never tell you how bad it really is. {Example: When I went in for the OHS this last time, I had NO idea they were concerned about the scartissue!!}This guy just laid it out! He said that younger is better for having kids, underlying heart disease or no, and that in the margin of risk : there are 4 groups, Small, Medium, Large, and That's the most stupid idea I've ever heard. {Doctor's words exactly} and that I am between Small and Medium Risk. But that every pregnancy is a small risk, healthy woman or not so healthy. So yayayay!! That will be our "project" for this summer... ;)

When I had to the open heart surgery, the doctors were saying that eventually I would need a pacemaker. But not like NOW, it would be more around early 30's or so. This doctor said 50% of Adult Congenital Heart Disease patients need a pacemaker. The "pulse" muscles will eventually slow down, and then a pacemaker is needed. There are signs in the EKG and the echo that tell that I am in the 50% that would need a pacemaker. But we already knew about the pacemaker. It was all just alot to handle, infomation overload.

Well, since I was down in Salt Lake to go to the hospital, just East of the temple, I stopped by the temple to walk around. As I was driving to temple, Jack Johnson's new song came on the radio : You and Your heart. I cranked it and sang it outloud! I love that song. Amid all the construction, the temple was still gorgeous. There was a young couple getting married (I know I have no ROOM to call other couples YOUNG, cuz this couple actually looked older than Shark and I!!) and I did the whole flashback thing, thinking back to when Shark and I got married at that very same temple. Thinking back to how I felt {it was even so real, that I started to get a little woozy from the heat!! It was warm outside, but I was prepared this time, I brought a bottle of water!! Booyah!} and how much I love him. I wrote down what I was thinking about all the info the doc just gave me, and I felt a complete calm come over me. I may not have the struggles of temptations that others have, but this heart stuff is my trial in life, that is what I will be dealing with for my whole life. I am so grateful to my husband, who has been standing strong next to me for all of this. He is absolutely amazing, and wonderful. I was handpicked for my, and I for him. And I think back to the miracles that brought us together. I am so thankful that I was ready to meet him when I did, and that I was where I was and when I needed to be. I found this quote, that fits perfectly : It's nothing short of a miracle when you find the one you're looking for.

Ooh - So when I was at work, I was thinking that I should write a book, and what it should be called. I was tinking and thinking, and came up with a bunch of ideas but this one sounds so dang good!! It's now the name of Etsy store, as soon as it's up - VERY SOON!! But it's going to be called Fingerprints on my Heart. I ♥ it!!! Shark likes it too. {Really, so many doctor's have touched my heart, literally.....}

Today I have a video : it's that awesome song.. if it works.... PS: Don't forget to pause the music on my blog if you want to play the video!!!

You And Your Heart lyrics

Love to all who have hearts♥

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