State of Mind, State of Being

It's all in your head, it's all in your head! I have come to realize there are alot of things that are all in my head, and in no one else's. For example : I am the only one what worries if my shoes match my shirt or pants. I am the only one that worries if my hair is just right. I am the only one what worries about how wrong some craft I've made is. How do I know these things? Easy, cuz I think about them all the time. I am the only one to notice that my ears are lopsided, one is higher on my head than the other. And really, if everybody thinks the same things I think (expect about themselves) then no one else would be thinking about me. EVER! It makes sense, and I know it's true. No one ever looks at my shoes, and if they do, they aren't looking at my shirt at the same time (unless they have eyes all over, like my mom does, that woman can see everything!), and very rarely do people scrutinize my clothing choices as a whole (unless it's Mark, and he has one opionion of clothes as a whole-None is good.) Next, only girls worry about hair, and I am in an office of 90% men, so they don't care, plus all the women I work with are too busy with work and worrying about their hair to even notice mine. Oh and, if I make a craft, I know where I went wrong, and what I messed up, and exactly where it doesn't line up, and I have forever burned that location of screw-up into my eyes and brain. No one else sees the screw up, they just see this amazingly cute (they've said that!) and freaking awesome (they've said that too!) craft I've duplicated or created and they LOVE IT! And even if I point out the blemish that is staring at me and screaming at me, they always innocently ask, Where? What's wrong? (I bet it'll be that way when I have kids too....) Lastly, my ears. No one ever seems to notice that my ears are lopsided. And I didn't for a while, until I started wearing glasses. Then I noticed BIG TIME! I have to bend my sunglasses and eyeglasses so they are lopsided to correct my facial lopsided-ness. Mark laughes at me. But even when I am wearing glasses, no one notices the lopsided glasses, it drives me nuts, cuz I notice!! (Well, it sure beats being lopsided elsewhere.) So there it is, the proof that no one is worrying about me and my crap, cuz they are all thinking and worrying about their own crap. It's not cuz we're selfish or narcassistic, we are all just insane in the membrane and got a lot of junk in our heads.

A friend of ours did a MindVideo, I thought it was pretty cool, she made hers about money, and no, she's not greedy or money hungry or any of that, I think it is more of what makes her comfortable, stable, secure, and less worrysome and more free. If I made a MindVideo thing, it would be about money. Money means stability, more security, more freedom, not only for me, but also for my family. (That's why we have life insurance policies, if we leave, then our family has enough to be secure in their lives, at least for a while.) It's not about being rich and having STUFF, it's about safety and security and being able to provide that for your loved ones. The MindVideo has a purpose, and it is: if you focus on something long enough and hard enough, eventually, you will get what you focus on. I love that! It's a state of mind that turns into a state of being. That is what we all strive for in our lives. To be like what we focus on or think about. We teach a Sunday School class at our church, and the kids sing a song "I'm trying to be like Jesus" - wouldn't it be great if these 5 year olds's state of mind turned into a state of being? I think the state of mind/state of being idea can work with just about anything (somethings need a physical transformation/change rather than a mental one.)

My main worry is always money. Not having enough, when bills come out, which bills come out, where is my money going, what am I buying? Mark and I, both want me to stop worrying about money, and I think the answer to that, is to have more, have enough in our accounts that if we pay rent, we won't have to worry about bouncing a check or not having enough to pay our phone bill. So that is what we are striving for now. I read in a Glamour, Define what RICH means to you. (Glamour of ALL places!! I know!) Reading that made me stop and think for a few minutes. Mark and I have been trying to get out of debt for a while now. (Ok since we got married and added our debts together. Most of it was mine... and it's really not alot, but we still want to get it gone before we incure any more. Everybody tells us this is SMART!) We have had tons of plans on how to do this, and so far have only been able to implement ONE! And that has only been in the past month. I will tell you our strategy so far. I borrowed a book from Teri, by Dave Ramsey, called The Total Money Makeover. We started that, and even eliminated a credit card (woot woot!) we saved up $1000 for an emergency fund, and then.... we bought a dog. We tried at least! Well, that was back in March (we bought Bandit) and now, we have new resolve to do this and get it right. We've got big plans coming up (and you can take THAT anyway you want!) and we want to be debt free for these plans. Well, we got the paper route -it sucked big time- we but it got more cash money flow into our accounts, I switched all my accounts and bill pay over to Mark's account (he has had that account since he was 15 or something ridiculous like that) and he has all his loans and his one credit card at that bank. I got my paycheck to go into his account, and now we work solely out of that account. I created an estimated amount of bills that come out before the 15th of the month and another amount that comes out before the 30th of the month. (I get paid on the 15th and the 30th of each month.) and I leave that money in the account, and then take all the rest of the money out. We have the rest of it as cash. Cash is easier to work with, it means you can't spend more than you got. We set aside for groceries and gas and the dog. When we find out the 'extra' money we have, we then deposit it into my old and unused bank account (from a bank here in town) and then transfer money to the debtors we want off our backs. It works out pretty good (so far!). Mark and I make lunches/buy cup of noodles from Wal-Mart for .28 cents. We each get $30 at the start of each month, to spend on what we want. (Mark buys hunting/fishing stuff, I buy crafting stuff.) But that $30 is all we get, we can't spend 31, or 30.27, we can only spend $30. Then we have $30 for a date night out. (we rent movies-in-the mail for cheap, so we have date night each week, but a night out is still fun!) But, the 2 things that really make this work : Only having OUR cash in our wallets and leaving the cards at HOME! It is so easy to say, "Oh, it's only $2 for a hamburger." swipe that dang card and do that all week, and next thing you know, there goes $25 on food! So, anyways, it's been working so far, and this plan has helped to ease alot of stress and worry.


State of mind, state of being about love. It's up to you if your marriage sucks after 5 years or not. (Ok, not just you, but both of you!) I hate when people ask how long we've been married. A little over 1 year. Oh that's so cute, call me in 5 years when you two hate each other. OK! Really?! I love my husband more than words can explain, it feels like saying I LOVE YOU doesn't even come close to what I feel for him. I plan to be in love with him forever, or at least until they find a new phrase for it! ;) I plan to keep falling in love with him until the end of time. Call us cheesy, corny, dorky, or naive, but I love him, and I am so happy to be with him. So all you people who keep telling me that marriages don't last, that after 10 years we won't talk to each other, in 5 years we'll hate each other, you can all kiss my booty! Mark and I talk about everything, and enjoy spending time together. We both plan to make this work, and want to make this work. So :P (pbbbtttt!!) It's that whole STATE OF MIND, STATE OF BEING!!

much in love- bry and mark