Tuesday, December 29, 2009

about this time

I start to get nervous about the new year. I get all worried that things are instantly going to change. Like when I graduated high school, when really, it was a long time after that when things really changed. Or when I turned 16, and then 18, I thought right away things would be and feel different. And even though, things have NEVER changed immediately after 12:01 AM on January 1st, I always ALWAYS get nervous. What if this year is different? What if things all the sudden take a turn? I start rethinking my resolutions, start to doubt myself and my choices. And then I start to make bigger plans for bigger changes. When I know, I probably won't be able to follow thru on my small changes. I'm pretty shady when it comes to making changes. I adapt pretty well when it comes to changes at work and things like that, but when it's a voluntary change, it usually takes alot of time to make the full transformation. That's why I always get nervous. Here's an idea of how I resist change. Ever since I can remeember, one of my new year's resolutions has been to Stop biting my fingernails. It's been on my list for years, honestly. But, even though I try and try, I tried tabasco sauce on my nails, polish remover, wearing gloves, wearing bandaids, and to this day, I still bite them. I really don't know what to do. I have gotten better tho, I don't bite as much or constantly. But get me in a movie, or in a new situation, or even a situation where I'm not as confident, and I'll chew away at those little puppies. But for the most part, I've done pretty good, I don't just randomly bite on them. I'm really hoping I can follow thru on the changes I plan to make for 2010. They aren't terribly hard changes to make. I'm also going to find my list of goals I made a few months ago. It's somewhere in the computer/craft room, it's not totally hopeless, I'm sure I can find the list. When I do, I'll post it on here, then print out a copy so I can work on obtaining those goals too, if I can. 2010 might be a year that changes alot for me. And I like how that sounds. :)

Right now, I'm working on getting all my pictures put on my computer and then put on the external harddrive. Not too hard, but I had to find the broken camera, and get the photo card. The pictures on that card are from the honeymoon. Yeah... the honeymoon was about a year and half ago.... my bad... Oh well, at least now I have them for sure! It was pretty fun to look back. Mark looks sooooooo young, and I look awful, I didn't think to bring a brush with my when we were off the ship (we went on a cruise) so my hair was horrible from the ocean water. Ta da!! Plus, Mark and I were THE whitest people in Key West and Cozumel! And it didn't help that I got sunburned something awful right off the bat, thank goodness I thought to bring the aloe vera. It's not like we saw all that much sun anyways.... :D But it's fun to look back at pictures and laugh.

Love, bry and mark

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